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Wednesday, May 30, 2001
Ten days since I last posted. Sorry. Things have been fun and crazy these last few days. As you might know from looking at the webcam I went to Florida. It was a total blast! Thank you Lindsay for the fun time, a place to stay and everything. Other than laying on the beach and drinking beer every night I have not done a thing productive in these last ten days.

I did interview for a job and the possibilities that I will get the position are high. I will post more later. Until that time have a good time.


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Sunday, May 20, 2001
The knee is feeling better. I was referred to the Dallas Cowboy's orthopedic surgeon to look at my knee. After x-rays, lots of pulling and pushing, etc... he said I have tendonitis of the patella tendon. Talk about relief! No surgery! Just rest, ice and medicine.

Other than the knee not much is happening. No dates, no real interest in anyone, and that sucks. I am tired of looking too. I am considering permanent bachelorhood. I'll just hook up with whatever comes along. That is never that hard for me.

Well, weekend went as follows:
Friday - The Village Country Club and then bed by 12 a.m.
Saturday - Flag football (I watched from the sidelines because of the knee) We won. The Texas Rangers baseball game (we lost) and then bed by 12 a.m.
Sunday - nothing. I sat on my ass all day and napped.

So things are really piss-poor. I am looking for a job, I have no dates, the girls that want me are hags and I have no social life. OH well! HA! LOL! Could be worse.

I keep waiting for an e-mail or two from people about the site. Seems like no one has really been hitting the site much these last few days. The site sucks and I get several hits. It gets better and no hits.... ????? Go figure.

OH, and my computer has been doing funny things since I loaded ICQ. It locks up a lot when the program is running, so I have cut out most of my chat. Every so often I will check AOL chat or Yahoo. Those are the main ones where people say hello. Hotmail and ICQ seem to only be once in a blue moon. So get AOL or Yahoo to see me online. Otherwise people e-mail me and I will tell you when I am online with the others....

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Thursday, May 17, 2001
Today I was sent Mathematical proof girls are evil. HERE

So I went to the doctor and  they think I have torn something in my knee. FUCK ME! THIS SUCKS!!!!! &^#@~!*&$#@~! ! ! ! !  Tomorrow I go to a sports med specialist at 1:30 and then I get a MRI... Then probably surgery. This sucks....  Oh I said that already.  I have never had any sports problems... I have been Mr. Fit till this last year.... That is what I get for running, playing football and etc...

Hey something will be coming soon to my page. Actually I am starting two new things. I must admit I borrowed these ides from another guy, Casey Pearson, and his webpage. Thanks Casey for the idea! So what am I adding.... ??? Well, I want to start a webcam girls page and movie reviews page. I have them on the server at the moment but no links. I need pics to post... Therefore this is an official call for all camgirls to send me some sexy pics... I'll take what I can get.

Speaking of movies, last night Lindsay and I went to see Amores Peros (Loves a Bitch). The film was pretty artsy fartsy and deals with several story lines mixing and going off in their own directions. The main feature of all of these stories was love and pain. Speaking of pain... my ass hurts still from watching this 2.5 hour marathon.... or maybe it is my bladder... Either way the movie was interesting, but grueling to set through. I'll add a link later to this review. Thanks for the fun torture Lindsay!

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Tuesday, May 15, 2001
Well, I fucked up my knee pretty damn good. I think this is the worst I have felt in a long time. I am in a lot of pain and I really just want to cry. Yea, I said cry.... You gotta a problem with that. The weird thing about this is that I have no clue on what I did.

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Monday, May 14, 2001
Mav got their ass kicked tonight. Thank god it is over. I really hate basketball, but the Mavs are fun to watch.

Well, I have been chatting with some cool people lately. Angie form Houston and Kristin from Illinois/Dallas mainly. I have found Yahoo chat to be so much better than AOL in many ways.

As you can see on the cam I have signed up for several cam list. Please vote for me. I doubt I will ever break 20th on these sites because I am not "nakedfatwhiteguy.com", it is fun to see when people vote on my site. Thanks.

Well, went to see the parental units Sunday. Mom looks good. Dad looks good. The lake house looks brand new. They have really worked their ass off to get it looking great. I was worried when they moved down there because the place looked like shit. Well, now it looks like home. I guess my parents are happy.

No job still myself. Still spending money. Guess I will stop when I run out. HA! Well, gonna finish adding links to some new people. No one replied to me on the e-mails about the links so I guess they do not care. Wish I had more input from people. I guess I keep on working and they keep on looking for new stuff.

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Saturday, May 12, 2001
The site grows daily. Yea! I am adding links and working on the pages. My friend is hooking me up with some help and I should have a better looking site by July. Like I said, it is a work in progress.

Friday night was a blast. We did happy hour at the Gingerman and then dinner. The g-man is cool, but the prices suck. I spent way too much cash on drinks and dinner. I guess it is only money. Yea, I am sure I will say that later too when I am on the corner begging. Well, afterwards Lindsay, Kevin, Mike and I went to the Village Country Club for cheap beers. I talked to the usual suspects and did my appearance there. 12am I am drunk and in the mood to dance. So I went with my friend Pam and met some cute girls. We danced till 3am. Ouch! No luck with the ladies, but they were fun nonetheless.

Today was pretty cool.  We played flag football and won... OK, the other team did not show and we got a forfeit, but we did played against each other in a 5 on 5 scrimmage. (my side won). I had a great reception for 50 yards. Afterwards we did the Green Elephant like always, had a few and then watched the game. The mavs won! GO MAVS! I doubt they will win again. San Ann is just too tough.

Other than Mom's day tomorrow, and the above, not much else is going on. I am staying home tonight and working on the site. Big night... WOW! Well, have a great weekend.

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Thursday, May 11, 2001
Well, the last few days have been interesting. Mavs lost last night (again). We all watched the game at Frankie's on McKinney Avenue. Afterwards Dan and I went to Green Elephant for a game of Golden Tee and a beer. We played our game, watched the SMU students blow Mom and Dad's money and talked about being in college. It was fun and I really like Dan. Even with our different backgrounds we can relate on stuff and discuss general crud. Sometimes I look at those SMU students (Like Dan, Risto and Brett even) and wish I was in their shoes. Seems like I struggled through school and now I am struggling through being an adult.

Just checked my bank account and I have enough to make it through the end of the next month and then I am in trouble. I am really in trouble now, but I can survive through the next few weeks on what I have. Money sucks! I admit I did this all wrong, (the job loss thing) but live and learn. This is really the first time I have had to really "search" for a new job. Even the last time I was not forced to search. It just happened. It will work its way out or I will just have to sell everything! HA!

Tonight I went and watched the movie Castaway at the dollar theater. It made me realize that tomorrow the sun will rise in the East and set in the West, and no matter what I do life will go on. This really is not new information to me. I mean hell, I learned this in Europe. I guess sometimes we need something to remind us. So the real question is what am I going to do now? God, I wish I knew.

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Tuesday, May 08, 2001
Long time no Journal entry. Sorry. The last four days I was not in town, I was in Oklahoma, and could not get the journal in.

This weekend I was very lucky and got to spend the last three days with my best friend Joel. He came into Dallas for a mutual friend's bachelor party. We really did not get to spend a lot of time together because we played golf and hung out with the other guys most of the weekend. But we did get some time alone, before he left Sunday night, to catch up, chat and talk about our lives. It was nice to have him around, but at the same time it was a reminder that I am not where I want to be in my life.

Where do I want to be?

Seeing all of my old college acquaintances kinda makes you think a lot about where you are in your life. Since I was laid off on the 13th of last month I have been very happy that I can look for a job... Well, today was the first day I felt like crap about not having a good career, the car, the house, the family, etc...  What a looser I felt like this weekend. I mean Joel is a well regarded Nashville lawyer, has a new house, beautiful wife, great family and etc; Caleb is getting married soon; Bob is working on kid number 2; Black is married and doing well. Hell, I was one of three single guys. Out of ten guys I was the worst off in most ways. Maybe I am having a pity party here, but sure did not feel like I am making the most out of my life. But the where do I want to be? How do I get there?

Well, on a brighter note the new intro page is up. So see this thing is slowly growing. The software I use makes it hard to just do whatever I want. I guess I could add the code by hand/memory, but  I SUCK at HTML stuff via memory. I am slowly learning when I have time though.

So what else... Page is growing... Cam works.... No one e-mails me on how it looks, so I guess no one sees this. I am still looking for a job. No dates planned and no hotties lined up. Yep, ain't life grand.

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Wednesday, May 2, 2001 - 10:40 p.m.
Guess what I should be doing at this moment? ...  I should be watching "The Diary of Bridget Jones" with Misti.

Guess what I am NOT doing at this moment? ... Yep, I am NOT watching a movie as planned.

As of this morning Misti and I chatted online and I thought finalized our plans to go out tonight. I was going to workout at 6:30pm, call her around 8ish, then pick her up at her house and we would go to the late show . So at 8:20ish I call, leave her a message and tell her I am running behind. By 9pm I am on the road and close to Grapevine, still no answer or call from her, but I am not worried because we had a great date last week... Well, I get to Grapevine and still no call. I decide to eat something... Still no call. Finally at 10:20pm  I tuck my tail and drive home. Now one might ask why I did not go to her house... Well, I do not know her address because we always meet out.

SO WHAT AM I TO DO NOW? You guys/gals e-mail and tell me.

Just in case you do not know the situation, this is the THIRD time she has stood me up. Yes, I am a sucker... The first time her Grandmother had a stroke. The second time she never did explain that one in full, but she did apologize twenty different times and ways. Then she asked for these recent meetings and she did it to me again.

Other than the above all is well in my world. I just found out today that my best friend Joel is coming into town this weekend,  I have been slowly looking for a job and my website is looking OK. Sure it is not a work of art, but it does work. So things could be worse. I'll keep you posted on what happens.

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